Friday, February 15, 2019

Remember....I'm a professional...no really, I am...

So my moment of Terrible Dog Trainer Zen today:
Kate the Toller learned how to undo the latch on the gate...because she's ridiculously smart like that. She and her BFF, Chloe the border collie, come tumbling out. Chloe is a Good Girl, and immediately ran up to me and followed me back into the house. Kate is...well, her alignement is more Chaotic Good. She means well. She has a spectacular recall most of the time, and even a really pretty finish, but today did not fall into "most of the time". And besides, there were cats to chase. She ran under my truck and out the other side, gaining a nice black grime streak on her coat. Then she followed a cat under the horse trailer, where she spent a good 5 minutes taunting me. She streaked across the yard, barreled under the deck, and then finally ran under our garage building (there's a crawlspace there--probably full of huge spiders and snakes and whatever else). And there she stayed. 
I called to her sweetly, creeping over to the opening (did I mention the spiders the size of my head?). She poked her now dirty and cobweb covered head out and gave me a big laughing smile. I lunged for her (brilliant, I know...). She feinted, and retreated under the building. I offered food. She took it and darted back under. I called her names and sweetly told her (with some profanities mixed in) about all of the creative things I was going to do with a certain naughty toller once caught. She laughed at me. No really. She did. I asked for nose touches (figuring I could slip a lead around her as she nose-touched). She's smart. She nose-touched for the treat, but waaaay too fast for a catch. I made some inappropriate comments about her hypothetical parentage (Sorry, Kate's breeders Stacy and Til -I didn't mean them! I really do know she's not the hybrid spawn of a dingo and possibly satan. And I love her very very much! Usually!). I reminded myself that I AM A TRAINER and can blame no one but myself for this. I had an entire crisis of faith in the 15 minutes my dog remained under the building laughing at me. I pondered my life choices. I considered a career in accounting instead. (I would be horrible at accounting.)
Finally, I decided to make a show of giving up, thinking I would lure her out by feigning disinterest. She streaked out past me and back under the horse trailer. I stormed up onto the deck in disgust, and then, in a moment of inspiration, I called the cats. "Here kitty kitty!". They came running to the deck (at least Pavlov wasn't lost on them!), followed by a certain naughty toller, screaming in delight. I slammed the gate shut and caught her. 
So...I guess I need to work on recalls with distractions...also, I'd like to point out that Chloe is a very very VERY good girl. And Kate is getting another bath this week.  ðŸ¤¦‍♀️
Left: a very very very good girl--Chloe the Border Collie
Right:  possibly the illegitimate spawn of a dingo and satan--Kate the Toller

#notollerswerehurtinthemakingofthispost
 #foundaholeinmytraining